.kuchiki rukia.

20031005
Sunday, October 05, 2003

cant believe i had a such a deep slp. to the extent that i had a totally weird dream.

its like the setting was in school, ard the canteen area btw the left and right wing. there was like this event or performance going on, and the in-charge was grace zhang. sn girls may know her. like wat the hell was she even doing in my school. and.. she was holding a mike at tt time with a blue face. i mean literally blue.
i din really wanna care tho.. since i wasnt interested in the performance. so i cut across that junction from the left wing to the right wing, disrupting the performance totally.. yea. the actors/actresses tot i was part of the play. thank goodness i din play along as it was a play abt bitches and sluts. wth. whats going on in my mind?
then i got on to the left wing and found a rm. it seemed more like a channel or passageway to me at that time. and i rmbered the deco pretty vividly.. with gems and gold drapes ard and on the walls. it made me felt like a gypsy tho.
but wats wierd was that in the rm, there were jess (my classmate) and two other strangers, both adults. they seem like they din wanna care abt me so i sat on a couch nearby. overheard the conversation. apparentl jess was troubled and annoyed with her perpetual facade of happiness and she was speaking in third person lang. i tot she was really screwed up in her mind at tt time.. but the situation seemed to be under control.
i got too bored after some time so i went on exploring the channel.. finally coming to this other world of squatters. its like all ard me were dirt and delapidated buildings.many of the ppl were just sitting ard onthe ground, staring at me as i walked pst them. most were men.. some of the females had children with em tho. and suddenly i was holding a blanket and running towards some end-point. kena stopped by this fat guy who asked if i cud help him deal drugs.. and firecrackers. but i rejected him nicely and scurried off. came to this other mass-holding area where most slept in a vast piece of land with only one huge toilet (cud fit abt 20 ppl) at he side. dunno y but i was in the toilet meddling with the blanket.
out of the blue, sianlye appeared at my side with 6 photos of punk kids. they looked pretty ok as in their lifestyle etc. not offensive pix.. she had a fren with her at that time, who was one of the punkkids in the photos. so we talked and most of the time he was trying to ans my qns of slping in the surburbs and under the bridges. . how much sense did tt carry? well, at least it doesnt make any to me.,
but what i found wierdest was that at that pt of time when i woke up, i really tot i was still living in the surburbs. the feeling was so surreal, i tried to go back to slp again to try to erase the dream. yet , i woke up again with the same feeling. the feeling of loss and loneliness.
the last time i had a dream of this sort, was like only a mth plus ago..

dreamer in blue-` woke up