.kuchiki rukia.

20050308
Tuesday, March 08, 2005

3 months of working life and i am alrdy feeling like ive worked my whole life. As much as im adjusted to working life, i still want to go back to school. im not exactly looking forward to campus life but at least i would still haf the chance to remain a student. i totally cant stand the idea of being a working adult. when i go to work everyday, i'll start asking my self how these ppl actually put up with the routine and still live on after 2, 3 years. its true that the job isn't an issue here. everyone needs the income to survive. i might choose to respect them for that. yet on the other hand, im wondering if they are simply too timid to pursue the things that they like to do. but come to think of it, how many of us actually get the chance to develop on our interests. and even if we do have it, would we dare to take the big step. esp in this society.. even the cheapest piece of cake would have to cost 80 cents. right now, im just wondering if it alredy is the right time for us to choose our own destiny rather than to allow requirements to choose for us. 2005 is diff from 1972, humans tned to become more ambitious as the years pass. i might say this because im a 19 year old and i have a family to support me now. wat will i say if i have to work 24 hrs a day to support my parents and a brother? would i still believe in pursuing interests? but. the key point is, most of us are given the choice. do we dare to conquer our own fears?
i guess its because of the pampered life we have since we were born that we are still clinging on to the faith that one can pursue his own interests no matter how bleak his future seems for him. its actually not that a bad thing afterall. at least we've still got faith. we have chosen to believe and to permit whats left of our naviety and innocence to rule over rationale.
as we grow older, innocence leaks like water from the tap and wats left of us would be an empty shell. most would say that when a child is born, it is actually like a piece of blank paper. as the years go by, scripts, words, pictures are drawn on it.. making the paper seem more complicated. whether or not the content actually gets deeper, the human being appears more complicated. i wonder how true that is, as for an advocate of innnocence like me, i'd rather see the content as taking over his white sheet of innocence.
and im wondering if those ppl walking along shenton way really do have the white parts of their paper left. or have they even forgotten that they were blank in the first place..
ha. it doesn't really matter to me anyway. why the hell am i thinking such thoughts.

dreamer in blue-` woke up